I Wrote a Book

Like, a whole-ass book, you guys.

I am two days late. And I have zero compelling content, my friends. My brain feels wiped clean of words.

It’s like this: Last week, I spent the majority of my waking hours finishing my book. I had completed my first rough draft the previous week, but in order to get it beta-reader ready (beta readers are these lovely people who agree to read the shitty first draft of your book and give you gentle feedback so that you know how to make it better but don’t feel a sense of utter despair—they are a wonderful breed of human), I had a lot of revisions to make.

Primarily, I had to put the whole damn thing in order. I showed you pictures of this event last week, involving nine months’ worth of post-it notes (Oh my god, I just realized that it truly took me almost exactly nine months to birth this book. You can’t make this shit up.), foam boards, paper clips, red pens, and lots of coffee. And then I put it all in Scrivener, where I moved entire sections back and forth like puzzle pieces until I finally got a perfect fit.

This took hours, days, even. And finally, I knew I had it organized way it needed to be. I made final tweaks and modifications, added chapter titles, made it look pretty. And then I exported the entire manuscript. And you know what the coolest part is? The PDF is exactly 191 pages, which has been my lucky number for reasons unknown since I was in college.

Actually, that’s not the whole story. I didn’t think I was going to tell you guys the whole story, but now my current favorite song is playing (My Day Will Come; James Francis with YEBBA) and I’m crying a little as I type this, because I just can’t believe that, with everything I’ve gone through, I managed to finish this book. And all within a human gestational cycle.

So here is my story. I lost my dear friend Nancy last spring, as some of you know. She’s the one featured in my most recent tattoo of the four books—one for each of us in our pair of mothers and daughters. She was a librarian and bookseller, and I had the great honor of spending a gorgeous weekend with her several weeks before she died—all four of us were together one last time. I told her my tattoo idea; I told her I was finally writing this book. And since she’s been gone, I’ve felt her with me so often in that guardian angel way that transcends language.

Last weekend, I was driving to see my friends for brunch, and I felt this overwhelming sense of peace come over me, and I knew it was Nancy. I looked up to my viser, where I keep a picture of us clipped underneath an angel. And then, I pulled up to a stoplight and saw my lucky number, 191, on the license plate on the car in front of me. I know this stuff may seem stupid to many of you, and that’s ok. It brought me such a sense of relief and comfort, and then, right on cue, Taylor Swift’s Safe and Sound came on my playlist (at 11:11, in case you’re woo like me). I’ve been so tightly wound this past week, going so far as to put out a bat signal on Facebook to rally support and love for me and the girls. And I finally exhaled in the car, for a moment.

This is a picture of us in, hmmm, the early 2000s? I am an actual baby.

Super sorry, stranger whose car I photographed at this stoplight.

The next day, I was determined to export my entire manuscript for my first small round of beta readers (If anyone is interested in being part of my next beta group, hit me up!). And it was a giant formatting clusterfuck. I got frustrated, wound up copying and pasting the whole thing section by section into Google Drive, terrified I would accidentally erase the whole thing.

When I finally finished it, I saw that the entire document was 190 pages. One away from my lucky number. Now, you may think I was cheating by messing with the final stats, but I realized it was missing a title page.

There. Now it’s done. 191 pages. Thanks, Nancy.

XOXO,
Steph

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Things I am super excited for you to know about!!

• The Mother Plus Podcast is hosting the incomparable astrological intuitive, Jamie DeLuccio, for a virtual new moon ceremony next Thursday, February 8th! Join us for some meditation, journaling, astrology, and a delicious sound bath. Jamie is one of those people who, if you meet her, will absolutely change your life. Details here.

• MY HOUSE IS NO LONGER A SHITHOLE, thanks to Parent Coach Cindy. I am not exaggerating, you guys. She changed everything for me, and I am so grateful. If you missed the parent workshop, a recorded version is available in this $20 digital course that includes Cindy’s e-book and a free 30-minute consult. If your house was even a fraction as fucked up as mine was, you can’t afford to miss it.

• I am performing stand-up with Moms Unhinged at the Louisville Underground on Sunday, February 11th! Yes, it’s Super Bowl Sunday, but if you don’t care about football and you’re local, you’ve got to see this show! It’s going to be amazing and I can’t actually believe I am lucky enough to be one of the performers. Tickets here—it WILL sell out!