When Your Kid's Christmas Present Sucks

A Photographic Journey Through Disappointment.

Today’s Bonus Column is one of my old favorites from 7 whole years ago. In the moment, I did NOT find it funny, but right now it’s on my highlight reel of favorite holiday memories. Speaking of, Happy Thanksgiving, and Happy Holidays in general!

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When Your Child’s Christmas Present Sucks (original pub date Christmas 2016)

I think we can all agree that kids are professionals at messing shit up. Especially the holidays. The expectation–> disappointment loop is stroooong at Christmastime. And I don’t even mean for the kids: I mean for myself. I have such high hopes of sharing all my most treasured childhood nostalgia with them: caroling, going to Christmas Eve service, baking cookies for Santa, the works. And how often do they respond the way I want them to? I think you know the answer. This year, December 23rd found me baking sugar cookies from scratch by myself and decorating them in the kitchen alone with my mom, after the kids lost interest after decorating 5.5 cookies apiece. (Although, let’s be honest. It was nice not to have 4 dozen cookies that look like Rudolph pooped all over them. My five-year-old has a tendency to hold the sprinkle container upside down over her cookie until it reaches volcanic proportions. And nobody wants to eat that crap.)

But this year, even Christmas morning was fraught with epic disappointment—first my kindergartener’s, and then, by default, mine. Let me take you on a journey.