That’s a massive suitcase for me to unpack... which says a lot when you have ADHD - that suitcase can sit there for months as long as you don’t see it. Once again, you’ve managed to hit the nail on the head with your writing. If you would like a rambling speech to text letter on ALL of the things, I’ve got you.
OHmygosh Stephanie, I could have written this word for word myself. Even down to "I've been wondering about this for about a year." I feel like, if you've been wondering about it and suspecting it, then probably yeah, there's a good chance you have it. I was evaluated in August, Dx'd in September, and started meds in November, and it's been absolutely life changing. From small details like remembering where I parked my car in a parking lot - easily and without really thinking (racking my brain) about it - to massive things like sleeping better than I ever have in my life because finally my brain is calm.
<waves> yeah hey it's real. Meds are helpful. or can be helpful. but also it can still be hard to be a human today, even with a diagnosis and appropriate meds. Happy to talk more about this anytime, but one overarching comment: you are worth the time/effort/hassle it would take to get an official diagnosis (also notable: it varies regionally. my dx was my doctor confirming the kids' dx and saying "well, it runs in families quite heavily and one way to find out if you are affected is to do a meds trial. people without ADHD will feel amped up, heavily caffeinated by stimulants. People with ADHD tend to feel calmer, more at peace with stimulants." Isn't that delightfully counter intuitive? My primary observation: I feel more *competent* with meds. I call them my competence medication. ;) as someone who from the outside presents as highly competent, this only makes sense to people who really know me or have BTDT.)
I can relate to this, Stephanie! All my life, I've been super self-conscious about how I come across. I remember in college, my roommate in the dorm could not stand me. She said I talked too much. I was so enthusiastic about everything. I was horrified but thankfully I am also stubborn and determined and did not let this break me. I, like my mother and my sister, am a life-long list-maker. I feel a sense of peace when I have things written down, in black and white, though as I've gotten older I've come to the point where I don't sweat it quite as much when not every single thing on that list gets checked off by the end of the day.
Life, in general, has become a complicated fast maze to Keep up. I appreciate that we are are able to "connect the dots" through learning/education. I love all the sciences explaining the "whys" and how to make more sense of a very busy maze. Do we ever really get out? Or just start a new one?
My mom always said, "You'd forget your head if it wasn't attached," so I began making to-do lists, shopping lists, ANYTHING and everything to keep myself organized. (Thank God for Google Keep & Calendar now!) But then people who don't know me well think I'm "super organized" or "have OCD" because of all these lists. If only they knew the craziness of swarming thoughts in my brain 24/7...
I was also frequently told that I talk too much, and often made fun of for that. Being repeatedly mocked for being excited and talking sucks. It hurts. Now anytime I've been in a social situation, I replay the interactions I had with others and overthink them wondering if I spoke too much. Now I cope with that by avoiding large social situations and just hanging with my core people who get me.
And all the years in school where I was always the last person to hand in a test? It's not because I didn't know the answers. It's because I daydreamed the majority of the time, then thought "Oh crap!" and quickly did my best to finish. Lord only knows how I was always on the honor roll.
How do I cope now? Lists, reminder alarms, and a husband who doesn't have ADHD who gets me (most of the time) and helps me keep my head on straight. And probably most important to me our my daily dog walks where my overactive brain can be alone in it's thoughts to try and sort out life.
How was that for a "Random ADD Thoughts of Robin?" 😅
Are the same person, lol? This resonates so much: "But then people who don't know me well think I'm "super organized" or "have OCD" because of all these lists. If only they knew the craziness of swarming thoughts in my brain 24/7..."
And I am always so self-conscious about how much I talk. 😳
I think that for many parents (hand up here!), as our kids’ neurodivergence is diagnosed, we see ourselves and our own pasts. Huh, the way I lost my wallet all the time in my twenties... the way I could never find anything for many years and sometimes still can’t... the number of cell phones I lost/ flushed down toilets when they were small enough to do that... I think both things are true: life is crazy and our attention is constantly divided. And at the same time, ADHD is real, and if it fits for you, that’s important.
That’s a massive suitcase for me to unpack... which says a lot when you have ADHD - that suitcase can sit there for months as long as you don’t see it. Once again, you’ve managed to hit the nail on the head with your writing. If you would like a rambling speech to text letter on ALL of the things, I’ve got you.
Yes, please, you and I are going to have to talk about this. As if we don't have a million other things to talk about LOL.
OHmygosh Stephanie, I could have written this word for word myself. Even down to "I've been wondering about this for about a year." I feel like, if you've been wondering about it and suspecting it, then probably yeah, there's a good chance you have it. I was evaluated in August, Dx'd in September, and started meds in November, and it's been absolutely life changing. From small details like remembering where I parked my car in a parking lot - easily and without really thinking (racking my brain) about it - to massive things like sleeping better than I ever have in my life because finally my brain is calm.
This brings me so much peace and comfort, Jeannine, seriously. I really appreciate hearing this. I feel hopeful. ❤️
Read this book: Dirty Laundry: Why Adults with ADHD Are So Ashamed and What We Can Do to Help https://a.co/d/3GpfwZ8
I am all over this. Thank you! XO
<waves> yeah hey it's real. Meds are helpful. or can be helpful. but also it can still be hard to be a human today, even with a diagnosis and appropriate meds. Happy to talk more about this anytime, but one overarching comment: you are worth the time/effort/hassle it would take to get an official diagnosis (also notable: it varies regionally. my dx was my doctor confirming the kids' dx and saying "well, it runs in families quite heavily and one way to find out if you are affected is to do a meds trial. people without ADHD will feel amped up, heavily caffeinated by stimulants. People with ADHD tend to feel calmer, more at peace with stimulants." Isn't that delightfully counter intuitive? My primary observation: I feel more *competent* with meds. I call them my competence medication. ;) as someone who from the outside presents as highly competent, this only makes sense to people who really know me or have BTDT.)
I can relate to this, Stephanie! All my life, I've been super self-conscious about how I come across. I remember in college, my roommate in the dorm could not stand me. She said I talked too much. I was so enthusiastic about everything. I was horrified but thankfully I am also stubborn and determined and did not let this break me. I, like my mother and my sister, am a life-long list-maker. I feel a sense of peace when I have things written down, in black and white, though as I've gotten older I've come to the point where I don't sweat it quite as much when not every single thing on that list gets checked off by the end of the day.
Life, in general, has become a complicated fast maze to Keep up. I appreciate that we are are able to "connect the dots" through learning/education. I love all the sciences explaining the "whys" and how to make more sense of a very busy maze. Do we ever really get out? Or just start a new one?
That is such a good question. Sigh. Thank you for that comment!
My mom always said, "You'd forget your head if it wasn't attached," so I began making to-do lists, shopping lists, ANYTHING and everything to keep myself organized. (Thank God for Google Keep & Calendar now!) But then people who don't know me well think I'm "super organized" or "have OCD" because of all these lists. If only they knew the craziness of swarming thoughts in my brain 24/7...
I was also frequently told that I talk too much, and often made fun of for that. Being repeatedly mocked for being excited and talking sucks. It hurts. Now anytime I've been in a social situation, I replay the interactions I had with others and overthink them wondering if I spoke too much. Now I cope with that by avoiding large social situations and just hanging with my core people who get me.
And all the years in school where I was always the last person to hand in a test? It's not because I didn't know the answers. It's because I daydreamed the majority of the time, then thought "Oh crap!" and quickly did my best to finish. Lord only knows how I was always on the honor roll.
How do I cope now? Lists, reminder alarms, and a husband who doesn't have ADHD who gets me (most of the time) and helps me keep my head on straight. And probably most important to me our my daily dog walks where my overactive brain can be alone in it's thoughts to try and sort out life.
How was that for a "Random ADD Thoughts of Robin?" 😅
Are the same person, lol? This resonates so much: "But then people who don't know me well think I'm "super organized" or "have OCD" because of all these lists. If only they knew the craziness of swarming thoughts in my brain 24/7..."
And I am always so self-conscious about how much I talk. 😳
Thank you for this--I appreciate it so much. xoxo
Why did we not hang out more in college?? ❤
I think that for many parents (hand up here!), as our kids’ neurodivergence is diagnosed, we see ourselves and our own pasts. Huh, the way I lost my wallet all the time in my twenties... the way I could never find anything for many years and sometimes still can’t... the number of cell phones I lost/ flushed down toilets when they were small enough to do that... I think both things are true: life is crazy and our attention is constantly divided. And at the same time, ADHD is real, and if it fits for you, that’s important.
YES! That is a really helpful comment, thank you.