Mom Guilt, Then and Now.

The struggle remains real.

Hey, guys. It’s been a doozy of a week. Today is my youngest daughter’s first “divorce” birthday, which, not to put too fine a point on it, is excruciating. My oldest had a fender bender this week. I can’t decide between metaphors—underwater, in the weeds, knee deep in pig shit, in the trenches?—but suffice it to say, my strength is being tested. And when we are pulled in more directions than we can realistically accommodate (see: My Octopus column from a few weeks ago), the guilt usually kicks in. Because all parents know that we cannot do everything and be everything for our kids; we can’t fix their problems, we can’t take away their pain, we can’t make things right. We also (mostly) know that we shouldn’t. Pain, struggle, and hardship are a part of life, and the best thing we can do for them is to show them how we cope with that ourselves, with as much grace as possible (which sometimes, isn’t a lot), and to let them know we will hold them tight through their pain.

The older my kids get, the more my guilt morphs into something different. Not easier, maybe deeper, sometimes more soul-crushing, sometimes less daunting? Today my bonus column for my paid subscribers (yes, you too can become one for the low price of $8!) is one of the first pieces I ever wrote about mommy guilt. My daughter, who is 12 today, was a baby, and I was already well-versed in the language of guilt when I tried to prioritize my needs.

I read this piece—“The Guilt, “The Crippling Mommy Guilt!— at Listen To Your Mother Denver TEN years ago, in May 2013.

And speaking of, here’s some exciting (read: less depressing) news! For the first time since 2014, we are bringing LTYM back to Denver with our first ever alumni show! If you are a local (or someone who wants to jump in the car or hop on a plane to see a truly kickass show) you should absolutely buy tickets RIGHT NOW for this show on Sunday, November 5th, at 5:00 pm. You’ll be home for an early bedtime, and you get to see a stellar cast of LTYM favorites from the past ten years, and I get to read also!

Grab tickets here, and look at this gorgeous cast!

Now, on to bonus content: The Guilt, The Crippling Mommy Guilt + the video of me reading this on stage in 2013 (with a pixie cut! My, the times have changed…).