Oh (wo)man, thanks for this! I’m feeling a LOT of things about this election and so are my LGBTQ kids. I will def read that book and follow her Substack. I was trying to explain to my boyfriend how scared and heavy this election is as a woman (even a privileged whites woman, I know others have it worse) and also how LONELY it feels bc I truly don’t know if any man can really get it. I’ll never forget the line in Handmaids Tale, the well meaning and seemingly good husband of Offred, in before times, seems to the protagonist to almost *like* the role of protector as women’s rights begin to quickly erode. That chilled me to the bone. Do all men secretly want a world where their power is more? Or simply, wouldn’t mind it? I hope not. But sometimes I wonder. Here’s to all hope surviving tomorrow. And if not, let the fighting back for our rights begin. Again.
I am standing by your side wondering all these same things. Do they secretly want that? Even the “good ones”? I think some do. Deep breaths for the week ahead.
Just yesterday, feeling stuck with this memoir piece, I went for a walk. I mumbled my way around the neighborhood asking myself: 'what is this even about?' What became clear by the time I walked up my front steps, and what feels like a bit of a shift from the perspective I'd previously been writing from is that it's about finding my voice. Reconnecting with that essential voice that's been stifled and gagged by me, by my marriage, by our culture. Adding my voice to the choir of sisters screaming in rage, keening in pain, singing in joy, shouting with determination.
As I made my coffee this morning I thought to my post-divorce, post-menopause self: if it came down to aligning myself with my wonderful partner or with my sister-friends, like if shit hit the fan and I had to pick a side - I wouldn't hesitate. I will pick the women in my life - my daughters, sisters, mothers, friends - every time. Because at the end of the day until men are actively working to dismantle the systems that keep the boot on our collective necks, they're complicit. There are no innocent bystanders.
Damn I want to be your friend!! Read Sexism & Sensibility. Seriously. Obviously as the author I’m biased but the absolute best feedback I’m getting from so many women is that they are finding the book healing and liberating for themselves. That was my secret hope! Good luck with the writing!!
How much do I love all of this? “ I have taught them that they do not owe anyone shit when their personal safety and integrity is on the line. Yes, we are thoughtful, respectful, and kind. But we do not give ourselves away.” I so love being part of your writing groups where we all keep figuring out over and over that we are not responsible for everyone else’s feelings! I’ve been #1 in the library holds list for this book for two months while it’s on order - can’t wait!
THANK YOU for this amazing celebration of Sexism and Sensibility Stephanie!! The fact that you seemed to have raised such amazing, strong daughters and still got so much from the book means everything! (And now I wish you were my daughter's vocals teacher!!)
Oh (wo)man, thanks for this! I’m feeling a LOT of things about this election and so are my LGBTQ kids. I will def read that book and follow her Substack. I was trying to explain to my boyfriend how scared and heavy this election is as a woman (even a privileged whites woman, I know others have it worse) and also how LONELY it feels bc I truly don’t know if any man can really get it. I’ll never forget the line in Handmaids Tale, the well meaning and seemingly good husband of Offred, in before times, seems to the protagonist to almost *like* the role of protector as women’s rights begin to quickly erode. That chilled me to the bone. Do all men secretly want a world where their power is more? Or simply, wouldn’t mind it? I hope not. But sometimes I wonder. Here’s to all hope surviving tomorrow. And if not, let the fighting back for our rights begin. Again.
Love that last line! And even if she wins, we'll still be fighting. Now, off to look up that line from Handmaid's tale. Oof!
I am standing by your side wondering all these same things. Do they secretly want that? Even the “good ones”? I think some do. Deep breaths for the week ahead.
Thank you for the book rec!
Just yesterday, feeling stuck with this memoir piece, I went for a walk. I mumbled my way around the neighborhood asking myself: 'what is this even about?' What became clear by the time I walked up my front steps, and what feels like a bit of a shift from the perspective I'd previously been writing from is that it's about finding my voice. Reconnecting with that essential voice that's been stifled and gagged by me, by my marriage, by our culture. Adding my voice to the choir of sisters screaming in rage, keening in pain, singing in joy, shouting with determination.
As I made my coffee this morning I thought to my post-divorce, post-menopause self: if it came down to aligning myself with my wonderful partner or with my sister-friends, like if shit hit the fan and I had to pick a side - I wouldn't hesitate. I will pick the women in my life - my daughters, sisters, mothers, friends - every time. Because at the end of the day until men are actively working to dismantle the systems that keep the boot on our collective necks, they're complicit. There are no innocent bystanders.
Damn I want to be your friend!! Read Sexism & Sensibility. Seriously. Obviously as the author I’m biased but the absolute best feedback I’m getting from so many women is that they are finding the book healing and liberating for themselves. That was my secret hope! Good luck with the writing!!
Ordering it as we speak! Thank you!
How much do I love all of this? “ I have taught them that they do not owe anyone shit when their personal safety and integrity is on the line. Yes, we are thoughtful, respectful, and kind. But we do not give ourselves away.” I so love being part of your writing groups where we all keep figuring out over and over that we are not responsible for everyone else’s feelings! I’ve been #1 in the library holds list for this book for two months while it’s on order - can’t wait!
W.W.M.D. 😌
THANK YOU for this amazing celebration of Sexism and Sensibility Stephanie!! The fact that you seemed to have raised such amazing, strong daughters and still got so much from the book means everything! (And now I wish you were my daughter's vocals teacher!!)