Oh, Stephanie, this is an amazingly well written story. It made me tear up as well as reclaim my strength! So powerful and inspirational. Thank you for sharing!
Crying walks! Lately, every walk has been one of these... I'd just let lose, walking thru my hood, wondering if any neighbors could see my warped face as I cry-walked past their house.... But the tears didn't care and would wait for a safe, hidden space. I can't believe we've been going thru this shit for so long. I'm sitting here in my new rental house reading this and feeling better than I have in months because a huge milestone is behind me, but I wonder if, like you, the memories will rise up for a good cry... You've been through so much - it's really beautiful how you can metabolize and transmute the suffering into grace and have the courage to be accountable for your own inner state of being, even though you've been hurt. Chin up, mama. You're amazing.
You're amazing, too. You really are. I think you will enjoy this time of having that milestone behind you, and you will let yourself sink in and feel safe, and over time, the phases of re-grief and re-rage will pop back up for both of us, but you will never have to go back and do this particular hard thing ever again. And that's worth celebrating. XO
Ahhhhh yes the crying walk! Welcome lol. I did (do) plenty of weeping runs, not ideal, but the movement seems to help unleash, unclog, something… we endure so much as humans, and as single parent mothers… you call your mom when you get home and I talk to my mom while running/walking/living, but saying her name brings solace still, knowing she’d hold me if she could. We go back there don’t we? To that safest of places if we were lucky enough to have it. Sending you tons of love.
Yes! That's exactly it. I just had therapy and that was pretty much what it revolved around--that need/desire to go back to the safest of places. Sending love back...XO
Oh, Stephanie, this is an amazingly well written story. It made me tear up as well as reclaim my strength! So powerful and inspirational. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you so much for that, Milica! It really means so much to me. ❤️❤️❤️
Crying walks! Lately, every walk has been one of these... I'd just let lose, walking thru my hood, wondering if any neighbors could see my warped face as I cry-walked past their house.... But the tears didn't care and would wait for a safe, hidden space. I can't believe we've been going thru this shit for so long. I'm sitting here in my new rental house reading this and feeling better than I have in months because a huge milestone is behind me, but I wonder if, like you, the memories will rise up for a good cry... You've been through so much - it's really beautiful how you can metabolize and transmute the suffering into grace and have the courage to be accountable for your own inner state of being, even though you've been hurt. Chin up, mama. You're amazing.
You're amazing, too. You really are. I think you will enjoy this time of having that milestone behind you, and you will let yourself sink in and feel safe, and over time, the phases of re-grief and re-rage will pop back up for both of us, but you will never have to go back and do this particular hard thing ever again. And that's worth celebrating. XO
Ahhhhh yes the crying walk! Welcome lol. I did (do) plenty of weeping runs, not ideal, but the movement seems to help unleash, unclog, something… we endure so much as humans, and as single parent mothers… you call your mom when you get home and I talk to my mom while running/walking/living, but saying her name brings solace still, knowing she’d hold me if she could. We go back there don’t we? To that safest of places if we were lucky enough to have it. Sending you tons of love.
Yes! That's exactly it. I just had therapy and that was pretty much what it revolved around--that need/desire to go back to the safest of places. Sending love back...XO
Love this and you.
Back atcha.
You say there was nobody to hold you in that moment, but you held yourself. This was beautiful. (Also, you had me at catharsis blue balls.)